Plumbers Suck

We've been trying to get some (admittedly non-critical) work done at our house coming up on two months now by a particular plumber.  I really shouldn't dump on them directly but can say their initials are STRUSE PLUMBING.  They were great until they got our deposit, since then it has been one excuse after another...bad suppliers, below-zero temperatures where everyone's pipes broke (ok, understandable), losing one of their plumbers to illness (ok we're not completely insensitive...understand that too) but now it's just getting ridiculous.  I never hear from them, despite their promises, until I call to ask WTF.  I've really about had it with them.  So hey, my advice, they are nice enough people, but unless you have an Old Faithful in your kitchen or an exploding septic tank or something equally dire, it's a waste of time calling them.

You hear that Struse?  You suck.

CSP: Requirements

From the Civil Service Phrasebook.  Something that most people don't know how to write.  Normally a requirement would be a clear statement of a need...something that is actually achievable.  But in civil service, requirements (if they exist at all) are grandiose statements so that if by some miracle something wonderful happens, the originator of the so-called requirement can claim to have saved the world from something dire.  For example:

"Implement a center-wide <organization removed> operations database for everything." *

Yeah, let's get right on that one!  There's no ambiguity about what someone wants - they want bloody well everything!  And they want it yesterday!  AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!  Since someone with a brain will have to flesh this out, how about we implement an internet toaster while we're there?  Tied into the Keurig coffee machine?  WOO HOO!

* This was actually someone's suggestion in a Suggestion Box that got printed up in a newsletter.  No kidding.

Stupid Engineers, Part 2

I suppose titling this "Stupid Engineers" is too restrictive.  But the people who call themselves "engineers" where I work continues to be on my mind.  One of the account forms that these folks need to fill out has a few questions on it, and the responses are just laughable.  A few samples:

Q: Who performs the same job as you?
A: Myself

What kind of an answer is that? Do you have two personalities?

Q: Who do you report to?
A: KNOWONE

I guess this person is in charge then, isn't he.  Too bad he can't spell.

I also see a lot of people who don't know the difference between being active duty military and a civilian (govt) employee. You'd think someone would know if they were active duty, wouldn't you?  Civilians don't often get shot at.  At least not on a normal work day.

So should I trust *any* of these people to show up and fix my software or hardware problem?

I don't think so.

Your tax dollars at work, people.

Stupid Engineers

You'd think that title would be a contradiction, wouldn't you?  I'm (hopefully temporarily) doing some account setups for a web application, and some of the people calling themselves engineers are apparently too stupid to fill out the account form halfway decently.  They can't spell their own names, tell you where they work, who they report to, type in their phone numbers correctly, or pretty much provide anything useful.  "Dumber than stumps" is the phrase that comes to mind, and they (laughingly) say that they are engineers?  Engineering what exactly?  Would I want one of these people coming to help me with a problem?  I don't think so.  I have been spoiled I guess by my exceedingly logical spouse (electrical engineer/computer science) and good friend (electrical engineer) who have actual brains and thought processes.  If you can't think I don't think you get to call yourself an engineer - unless you're the kind who runs a toy train.

Dumb Holidays: Valentine's Day

To me most holidays that aren't accompanied by a paid day off from work, or a fine excuse to drink Guinness (e.g. St Patrick's Day) are kind of useless.  And of those useless holidays, (St) Valentine's Day is one of the worst.  While there's some history to the day, it's turned into just another day where retailers try to convince people (usually men) that if you don't buy your significant other over-priced chocolate and flowers, or perhaps a Lexus or diamonds, then you're a worm who doesn't deserve to be in a relationship.  (And don't get me started on the exchange of valentines in school classrooms...at least we did back in the 60's...talk about a day that can crumble the self-esteem of a third-grader!)  I have news for you - if your significant other is a jerk 364 days out of the year, one day of chocolate and flowers WILL NOT MAKE UP FOR IT.   So treat each other right all year, and ignore this stupid holiday.  It's a lot cooler to get chocolate or something special when you least expect it, anyway!