Interstate Driving, Part 2

A British cop once asked us, "how much road tax do you pay?" - a polite way to ask us if we thought we owned the road.  On interstates, pretty much everyone thinks they own the road, and they drive accordingly.  I only cut big rig drivers some slack because they are pros who keep our country's distribution system moving.  But all the rest of you...seriously, you are horrible drivers.

Interstate Driving, Part 1

We spent a fair amount of time driving on interstates this Thanksgiving weekend.  Most of the time it felt like we were trapped in a monster truck rally.  I guess the oil-producing countries in the Persian Gulf and elsewhere are really happy with Americans right now, since so much gasoline is being guzzled.  You know the need for full-body scanners in the airport was all part of the plan...

The West Texas town of...

Elpaso?  NO!  It's EL PASO!  Two words!  This sign (in Benson, on-ramp to eastbound I-10) has bugged me for years.  People whose Spanish vocabulary only extends to "taco" should know that El and Paso are two separate words.  If not, then UTEP would have to rename to UTE, and then idiots would wonder if the university were in Utah.

Bad Apostrophes, Part 1

A sign for Santa in a mall near my home.  This one is so bad it's hard to know where to start.  Love or hate the store...how can any even marginally literate American not know the store Sears?  Is the building in Chicago now Sear's Tower?  Maybe I can ask the personnel in the store if they will sear some meat for me?  ARGGGHHH!  I'm seriously thinking of returning to the mall with a bottle of Wite-Out (yes that's how the brand name is spelled).

Airline Seats

I was flying home the other day - a three-leg trip courtesy of Southwest Airlines.  Woman sits down next to me and says, "These airplane seats just keep getting smaller".  I'm pretty sure the overall width of a 737 hasn't changed in like 40 years, and neither has the width of the aisle.  No, hon, it's your backside that keeps getting bigger.

Did I just say that out loud?

Many is the time I have said something, maybe louder than I intended, and then said...oh...sorry...that was my outside voice.  So now I have a place to put those comments.  If you recognize yourself in anything I say, oops.  It's not you.  Or is it?