A Job Well Done...

...is its own reward.  Or so some say.

I say...HA!  WHAT A LOAD OF !#$!$!$#!  That's meaningless tripe handed to you when you work in a place where NOBODY bloody well knows what you do, most particularly the people to whom you presumably report.  You're expected to pat yourself on the back as required, and keep working.   It's usually unsatisfying for the worker bee, but it's a lot better than being micro-managed, and it keeps anyone above you from blowing a brain stem putting too much thought into what you're doing.

On the other hand, it can be fairly liberating.  I had a project that should have finished this week not get completed.  Many moving parts, things happening in a precise sequence, just didn't come together...no one person's fault.  We'll continue next week.

Now if I worked in a normal place, best case I could expect some concern or questions, worst case I might be ripped a new one.  But in the world I inhabit, nothing happened.

And that, I think, is the actual reward.  Forget about feeling good when 99% of your work goes well; the true gift is that you don't have to feel bad when 1% goes awry.

Merry Christmas to me.

Your vs. You're

This courtesy of http://theoatmeal.com/comics/misspelling

Lose vs. Loose

I received a piece of email today at work talking about "use or loose leave".  Grrrr!  What's "loose leave", anyway, going off on vacation to work as a hooker?

So for all you dummies who still don't get it ... as our friends at theoatmeal.com said best (click the link!):

Lose = Opposite of "win"
Loose = Not tight

While you're at it, review the other 9 words you should stop misspelling, all described on the theoatmeal.com link above, because if you can't get lose/loose right, you're probably screwing up all the others too.

The person who sent me the loose email this morning later sent one with a bad apostrophe (stating she was working at the "Headquarter's Office").   We are a rather poor organization, perhaps we can afford only one Headquarter.

December blog

I've been so busy beating my head against the wall that I haven't managed a post for over a month!  Shocking, I know.  And since it now officially the holiday season - which means it is after Thanksgiving for me, none of this Christmas stuff in the stores before Hallowe'en garbage for me - I could wax poetic about holidays, togetherness, happiness, cheer, etc.

Hmm.  That's a little difficult when we live in such a partisan, bitter, bickering world, made nastier by the fact that most people do their snotty commentary anonymously in idiotic comments to newspaper articles or via mostly anonymous blogs.  (Oh, wait...there might be a problem here...)

Anyway, here's my suggestion for 2013.  Everyone should, as Mark Twain once said, never miss an chance to shut up.  Be nice to your friends and family, try to acquire some more (friends at least :-), don't talk to me about religion or politics (heck even Charlie Brown had that right 50 years ago).   Enjoy the holidays, whatever you celebrate, and if you don't celebrate anything, well good for you but don't get mad at me for doing my thing.

We will return to our regularly scheduled ranting, er, musings, in January.

Don't offer me technical advice...

...unless you actually know WTF you're talking about.

I have to sit through a demo tomorrow of someone else's web application that someone I have less than zero respect for said was "perfect" for us.  Yeah right.  It's written in a language we don't use, runs under a web server we don't use, and probably has s**t for permissions and data integrity.  Not to mention that even if they do have some stuff normalized, they aren't going to magically match everything we have already.  No, using this thing - if we do it at all - will still represent a significant integration effort...not to mention that we had something kinda sorta like this already that completely died because nooooooooooobody wanted to be responsible for actually maintaining the data (plus nobody ever used the data).....but someone said it was perfect so now I have to go waste a hunk of my morning sitting through this thing.  At least I'll get to enjoy shooting him down when he expresses his marvelous idea to management.

Except they won't get it either.

Oh, I give up.

STFU!

Ok, I've tried hard to be good.  I smile when I want to scream and tell people earnestly how happy I'd be to look into something for them, when really I think it's a total crock and their ideas suck.  But you know, enough is enough.  I've had it with one particular group of people who haven't participated meaningfully in a single discussion about requirements (for software development), yet complain incessantly that they don't have input.  ATTEND A FRIGGIN' MEETING WHY DON'T YOU?!  Do I have to set the talking points to music, do a dance on your table top to get your attention?  Their group has a representative who never shows up, never appoints an alternate.  (Sometimes he sends a yes or no vote by passenger pigeon but his vote is completely disconnected from any actual review of the material - our next version of one application is undoing a whole bunch of stuff that he voted yes on the first time.)  The rest of us get on with our work and make decisions.  Now they're completely up in arms about a few things that they had ample opportunity to weigh in on for the last few months.  You know what?  I don't care!  If they had paid the slightest bit of attention to anything they'd know where things stand, but nooooooooooooo.  It's easier to bitch and moan and whine.  Well, I'm bitching back.  Either participate constructively, or go away.  I'm not listening to your crap any more. Got that?

I'll now return to fake smiley face.

More Bad Apostrophes

In my building at work...dummies. 

August Musings

August is nearly over and I haven't issued a single rant, reasonable or otherwise.  So here are a few things at the top of my discussion list:

• I refuse to watch any political convention.  Self-serving garbage.  If you like the guy/party you're already on board; if you hate him you won't listen to anything he says anyway.   And he won't say much different than what he's said in his stump speech 900 times already.  (If he does, the press will report it endlessly, anyway.)  Go do something useful instead.
• USADA, Lance, move on already.  Water under the bridge.  (I have plenty to say on this, actually, but it accomplishes nothing, so...onward.)
• I'm still trying to figure out at work why other people doing nothing winds up being my problem.  Of course I've been working on that since 1984.
• I really, really want people to stay out of "my" space on airplanes.  You don't get my armrest or my foot space.  Seriously.
• The Miami airport still bites, but if you have to arrive there from abroad, be on a non-US carrier.  When you hit passport control, almost nobody goes to the US Citizen line.
• That said, if I had a choice between TAM and American, I'd pick American, even at the cost of a longer passport control line.
• Universal Sports, when are you going HD?  C'mon already.
• Tombstone sucks.
• So do recreational shooters in Hunter Canyon.

The Need for Approval

I'm continually baffled in US Government Land why *sooooooo* many people insist that they have to have "approval authority" on just about everything, yet they won't lift a finger to do anything that actually constitutes an approval.  We make it easy for them...go to this web page, click this button, voila, you're done.  But no!  That's too hard!  They'd rather just pretend they are in The Music Man (that's a musical / movie, for you young 'uns) using the "think method" of approvals.  You know, maybe they're walking to the bathroom, and mid-belch (or worse) they think idly to themselves, "I approve", and magically that thought should float through the universe and psychically into the minds of the people waiting for the approvals.

But you know guys, it doesn't work that way.

Here's a thought.  How about we let you play the evil Archbishop in Pillars of the Earth? Take a couple of minutes, put on a nice looking robe thing and a skullcap or whatever you prefer, wave your arms in the air, and do the equivalent of his te absolvo - you know, just do a blanket approval of all transgressions, er, I mean work requests, past and future.   Do it in front of *me*, and I'll duly note it in the Department of Rubber Stamps that you always approve, and you won't ever be bothered again.  Really.

I think this could work.

And before you're done playing Archbishop, please go back to your room and flagellate yourself with some nasty looking cat o'nine tails thing, just for me.

Truth in advertising...not

Watching the latest spate of political advertising for a very short-term replacement for Gabrielle Giffords in the House of Representatives, it seems to me that few people trying to win an argument even try to tell the truth any more.  They just throw out a bunch of crap to see what will stick.  And unfortunately, a lot of crap sticks, because a lot of people are too stupid to discern fact from fiction, they just believe whatever they are told and then start repeating it loudly and indignantly every chance they get.

So if the concept works for politicians (especially those in the party to which I do not belong), hey, it can work for me.  Here are bunch of things I'm just going to start repeating, all truthful (or truthfully my opinions, as far as you know) to people and via posting on facebook, to see how many people will just pass it on without any thought.

• A zombie ate the face off a homeless guy in Florida.
• Tombstone is a crappy little town with a dusty lot for a fake OK Corral who seems to think they and they alone own federal land.
• Polish people would like to visit the US but they do wonder why the potatoes are bad here.
• Jesse Kelly is a big fat liar.
• There is no good Serb ever lived.  (I'm quoting someone.)
• UCLA sucks.
• Jesse Kelly thinks oil is a renewable resource.
• Tombstone thinks they are in danger of burning down if they can't rape the Huachuca Mountains.  Burning down what?  The fake fence around your fake OK Corral?
• Just because in theory you can fire off your ammo in a national forest doesn't mean you should.  There *are* still rules to be obeyed.
• States don't get to trump federal law.
• Cities don't get to trump state and federal law.
• But perhaps I can pass laws around my own house and trump 'em all.
• Rattlesnakes are your friends.
• The 5-second rule is bogus, but if you want to eat off of your floor, go ahead.
• Coal is NOT clean.
• The ability of any one politician to lower gasoline prices is nil.  Beats me why they some keep claiming they can do it.  Probably because a lot of people are dumb enough to believe it.  (You think our gas prices are high?  Visit Europe.)
• Counting on getting my social security benefits some day is like, to steal a quote from a friend, getting shade from an ocotillo.  You'd be wise not to count on it, then it will be a happy day when you actually get something.
• If you hate the Affordable Health Care Act (and I know, most of you won't recognize it by that name), then I hope you have no pre-existing conditions, don't plan on changing jobs, and have no adult children who could benefit from staying on your plan until they are 26.  (I know, it's easier to advocate throwing the whole thing out than to actually think about what you'd want changed.)
• Global warming is real.
• People who are all for personal freedoms and not wanting the government to tell them what to do, that's fine, but recognize then that you don't get to tell ME what to do.

Letter to the Forest Service re: Hunter Canyon

To: Ms Kathleen Nelson

Acting District Ranger

Coronado National Forest

5990 S. Highway 92

Hereford, AZ  85615

Cc: Mr. Jim Upchurch, Forest Supervisor, Coronado National Forest, 300 W Congress, Tucson AZ 85701

Ms Nelson:

I am writing to you as a Hereford AZ resident with deep concerns about the target shooting that takes place in Hunter and Ash Canyons in the Huachuca Mountains.

As you know, de facto shooting ranges have been established in the canyons; in Hunter Canyon this is approximately ¼ mile up the road.  These areas have become gathering places for many recreational shooters in the Sierra Vista/Hereford/Palominas area.

When my husband and I first moved here in late 2001, we never heard any gunfire.  In the last several years it has been increasing to the point that it now occurs on a daily basis, and is more lengthy and intense on the weekends.  For example, this past Saturday and Sunday both, the shooting began before 7:00 AM, and went on throughout the day until after 6:00 PM.  Some of the shooting was very rapid, sounding to my ear like semi-automatic or automatic weapons.

According to Forest Service regulations, shooting is allowed on National Forest System Land providing:

• It does not create a public hazard or serve as a direct threat to public safety.
• It does not damage or destroy natural features such as plants, historic features or property.
• It does not create litter; refuse accumulation and abandoned personal property.
• It does not violate an existing restriction or closure.

I believe the shooting in the canyons violates the first three bullets:

• The noise from the gunfire is a public nuisance and hazard; and given the number of residences in the area on both sides of Hwy 92, poses a direct threat to public safety.
• The shooting is demonstrably damaging and destroying native plants, most notably emory and Arizona white oaks (and given the tree losses from the Monument Fire in June 2011, I believe the Forest Service should be protecting the trees that are left!); see photo below.
• Litter and refuse is accumulating at these sites, not to mention the ever-increasing amount of lead from the ammunition, potentially endangering wildlife and water sources.

An article appeared in the Sierra Vista Herald newspaper several weeks ago, detailing the litter and lead problems and the damage being done to the trees.  The Forest Service has posted signs requesting persons pick up their trash, but has done little else to mitigate the damage to the trees, the accumulating lead, or the noise situation.

While I am approaching this issue as a concerned area resident, I’d also like to point out that the Huachucas are visited by many tourists each year for the outstanding birding, hiking, and mountain biking.   It doesn’t seem reasonable to me that a subset of persons could ruin the recreational opportunities for the larger base of residents and visitors.  Driving away the visitors has potential economic impact to the greater Sierra Vista area.  Everyone has a different idea of "recreation" but the bottom line is that the gun enthusiasts can go somewhere else (a range), while that can't be said for the birders/hikers/bikers who want to enjoy these mountains and canyons.

In closing, I strongly believe that this situation is intolerable.  Given the shooting in these areas is in violation of the Forest Service’s own guidelines, I believe that immediate measures need to be taken to eliminate this activity from the canyons, and that it is incumbent upon you as the Acting District Ranger to manage the effort. 

My neighbors and friends in the area look forward to hearing of planned actions.

Premier America, Worst Credit Union Ever

What can you say about a credit union that

• debits your account immediately upon setting up a transfer to an external financial institution
• then denies the transfer...
• then locks your account so you can't do ANYTHING
• then every time you call to ask to get it straightened out, the customer service people tell you helplessly that they're waiting for the third-party transfer vendor to get back to them
• and the third-party transfer people *every time* say it will be 3-4 business days to resolve, no matter how many different days you call
• so after over two weeks, you still don't know where your money is, or when you'll get it back

Here's what I say: YOU SUCK.

A somewhat politer (marginally) version of YOU SUCK will be sent to the CEO and the VP of Member Services - but only after I actually get my money.  And a complaint will be sent to the NCUA.

I'm also considering my sister's suggestion of calling a television station about it (it's the kind of alarmist, anti-consumer story they'd like to get all breathless about...you know, a "KXXX ON YOUR SIDE" report.  I also liked my cousin's suggestion to walk into the branch office every other day or so saying I'm doing a health inspection.  Except these idiots are in California (Chatsworth), and I'm not.  (Which was why I was trying to get my money out in the first place.)

So if you have an enquiring mind and want to know why the transfers were blocked in the first place, because our names didn't match exactly from one account to the other.  Happy to know that one account having a full middle name and the other one having an initial is enough to screw me out of my $ for weeks.  Apparently the way to avoid this is to put all of the $ into a checking account, and then write yourself a check.

And I thought electronic transfers were so much more efficient...