CSP: Requirements

From the Civil Service Phrasebook.  Something that most people don't know how to write.  Normally a requirement would be a clear statement of a need...something that is actually achievable.  But in civil service, requirements (if they exist at all) are grandiose statements so that if by some miracle something wonderful happens, the originator of the so-called requirement can claim to have saved the world from something dire.  For example:

"Implement a center-wide <organization removed> operations database for everything." *

Yeah, let's get right on that one!  There's no ambiguity about what someone wants - they want bloody well everything!  And they want it yesterday!  AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!  Since someone with a brain will have to flesh this out, how about we implement an internet toaster while we're there?  Tied into the Keurig coffee machine?  WOO HOO!

* This was actually someone's suggestion in a Suggestion Box that got printed up in a newsletter.  No kidding.