STFU!

Ok, I've tried hard to be good.  I smile when I want to scream and tell people earnestly how happy I'd be to look into something for them, when really I think it's a total crock and their ideas suck.  But you know, enough is enough.  I've had it with one particular group of people who haven't participated meaningfully in a single discussion about requirements (for software development), yet complain incessantly that they don't have input.  ATTEND A FRIGGIN' MEETING WHY DON'T YOU?!  Do I have to set the talking points to music, do a dance on your table top to get your attention?  Their group has a representative who never shows up, never appoints an alternate.  (Sometimes he sends a yes or no vote by passenger pigeon but his vote is completely disconnected from any actual review of the material - our next version of one application is undoing a whole bunch of stuff that he voted yes on the first time.)  The rest of us get on with our work and make decisions.  Now they're completely up in arms about a few things that they had ample opportunity to weigh in on for the last few months.  You know what?  I don't care!  If they had paid the slightest bit of attention to anything they'd know where things stand, but nooooooooooooo.  It's easier to bitch and moan and whine.  Well, I'm bitching back.  Either participate constructively, or go away.  I'm not listening to your crap any more. Got that?

I'll now return to fake smiley face.

More Bad Apostrophes

In my building at work...dummies. 

August Musings

August is nearly over and I haven't issued a single rant, reasonable or otherwise.  So here are a few things at the top of my discussion list:

• I refuse to watch any political convention.  Self-serving garbage.  If you like the guy/party you're already on board; if you hate him you won't listen to anything he says anyway.   And he won't say much different than what he's said in his stump speech 900 times already.  (If he does, the press will report it endlessly, anyway.)  Go do something useful instead.
• USADA, Lance, move on already.  Water under the bridge.  (I have plenty to say on this, actually, but it accomplishes nothing, so...onward.)
• I'm still trying to figure out at work why other people doing nothing winds up being my problem.  Of course I've been working on that since 1984.
• I really, really want people to stay out of "my" space on airplanes.  You don't get my armrest or my foot space.  Seriously.
• The Miami airport still bites, but if you have to arrive there from abroad, be on a non-US carrier.  When you hit passport control, almost nobody goes to the US Citizen line.
• That said, if I had a choice between TAM and American, I'd pick American, even at the cost of a longer passport control line.
• Universal Sports, when are you going HD?  C'mon already.
• Tombstone sucks.
• So do recreational shooters in Hunter Canyon.

The Need for Approval

I'm continually baffled in US Government Land why *sooooooo* many people insist that they have to have "approval authority" on just about everything, yet they won't lift a finger to do anything that actually constitutes an approval.  We make it easy for them...go to this web page, click this button, voila, you're done.  But no!  That's too hard!  They'd rather just pretend they are in The Music Man (that's a musical / movie, for you young 'uns) using the "think method" of approvals.  You know, maybe they're walking to the bathroom, and mid-belch (or worse) they think idly to themselves, "I approve", and magically that thought should float through the universe and psychically into the minds of the people waiting for the approvals.

But you know guys, it doesn't work that way.

Here's a thought.  How about we let you play the evil Archbishop in Pillars of the Earth? Take a couple of minutes, put on a nice looking robe thing and a skullcap or whatever you prefer, wave your arms in the air, and do the equivalent of his te absolvo - you know, just do a blanket approval of all transgressions, er, I mean work requests, past and future.   Do it in front of *me*, and I'll duly note it in the Department of Rubber Stamps that you always approve, and you won't ever be bothered again.  Really.

I think this could work.

And before you're done playing Archbishop, please go back to your room and flagellate yourself with some nasty looking cat o'nine tails thing, just for me.

Truth in advertising...not

Watching the latest spate of political advertising for a very short-term replacement for Gabrielle Giffords in the House of Representatives, it seems to me that few people trying to win an argument even try to tell the truth any more.  They just throw out a bunch of crap to see what will stick.  And unfortunately, a lot of crap sticks, because a lot of people are too stupid to discern fact from fiction, they just believe whatever they are told and then start repeating it loudly and indignantly every chance they get.

So if the concept works for politicians (especially those in the party to which I do not belong), hey, it can work for me.  Here are bunch of things I'm just going to start repeating, all truthful (or truthfully my opinions, as far as you know) to people and via posting on facebook, to see how many people will just pass it on without any thought.

• A zombie ate the face off a homeless guy in Florida.
• Tombstone is a crappy little town with a dusty lot for a fake OK Corral who seems to think they and they alone own federal land.
• Polish people would like to visit the US but they do wonder why the potatoes are bad here.
• Jesse Kelly is a big fat liar.
• There is no good Serb ever lived.  (I'm quoting someone.)
• UCLA sucks.
• Jesse Kelly thinks oil is a renewable resource.
• Tombstone thinks they are in danger of burning down if they can't rape the Huachuca Mountains.  Burning down what?  The fake fence around your fake OK Corral?
• Just because in theory you can fire off your ammo in a national forest doesn't mean you should.  There *are* still rules to be obeyed.
• States don't get to trump federal law.
• Cities don't get to trump state and federal law.
• But perhaps I can pass laws around my own house and trump 'em all.
• Rattlesnakes are your friends.
• The 5-second rule is bogus, but if you want to eat off of your floor, go ahead.
• Coal is NOT clean.
• The ability of any one politician to lower gasoline prices is nil.  Beats me why they some keep claiming they can do it.  Probably because a lot of people are dumb enough to believe it.  (You think our gas prices are high?  Visit Europe.)
• Counting on getting my social security benefits some day is like, to steal a quote from a friend, getting shade from an ocotillo.  You'd be wise not to count on it, then it will be a happy day when you actually get something.
• If you hate the Affordable Health Care Act (and I know, most of you won't recognize it by that name), then I hope you have no pre-existing conditions, don't plan on changing jobs, and have no adult children who could benefit from staying on your plan until they are 26.  (I know, it's easier to advocate throwing the whole thing out than to actually think about what you'd want changed.)
• Global warming is real.
• People who are all for personal freedoms and not wanting the government to tell them what to do, that's fine, but recognize then that you don't get to tell ME what to do.