Thoughts on Bad Service and Tipping

What is it with service in this town...or is it problematic everywhere?  Our recent Olive Garden experience was abysmal (slow bordering on ignoring us completely, and full of errors) so we likely aren't returning.  A jerk at Outback Steakhouse awhile ago complained at me for not tipping him when buying a gift card (I still wish I had torn up the credit slip at that point and handed him back the gift card.)   Today we went to the Sierra Vista Diner and after nearly 15 minutes where we were completely ignored - no water, no coffee, no menus, no service period (despite asking three times if someone would help us), our (cycling) group of 9 gave up and left.  (And Diner people, you were dumb.  Not only did you lose a good chunk of business today, but future business as well.) 

Which makes me think, WTF?  We have places providing mediocre food and lousy service, yet the service staff expect 20% tips.  (On the final bill, not pre-tax either.)  You know, I know most of them are paid low wages, but in my book, you get a good tip for providing good service, not just for showing up and barely going through the motions.  You'd think the ones who want more money would actually try.  Or the owners of the flippin' restaurants would get a clue and train people (since ultimately it is their bottom line...a couple of bad servers can drive away a lot of business).  Or better yet, the owners would staff peak times appropriately instead of running one person ragged....but that's another issue.

So for crappy service, here's the deal.  Tipping is on a sliding scale.   I start at industry standard - we'll call that 18% (I'm basing that on what got put on my bill at a very nice restaurant in Hollywood when we were there with a family group earlier this month).  Treat me well, and that's what you get.  Treat me exceptionally well, and the tip goes up to 20%.  If your service sucks, then it starts going down approaching zero.  (But not zero...you'll just think I forgot...it has to be small enough to scream out at you YOU SUCK AND THIS IS ALL YOU'RE GETTING.)  And if you suck that much, then you've guaranteed I will never return, where you work will eventually go out of business when the word gets around that you suck, and you'll be out of a job.  So there.

Would I ever give over 20%?  Yes, under exceptional circumstances.  Like giving me a free drink or something.

There was a positive end to the bad Diner experience at least.  We all went to the Country House instead, where we were served promptly, courteously, and efficiently.  Their food is nothing to write home about, but at least they treat people well.

Additional note to Olive Garden - stop it with the fake italian names for food.  Pastachetti?  Who are you kidding?